September 28, 2022

Mariedelices

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Woman Backed for ‘Upstaging’ Bride at Wedding

The internet has backed a woman for “upstaging” a bride at her wedding in a post going viral on social media.

Published to Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/weddingsil shared her story to receive feedback from the “AITA” community. The viral post has over 6,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments.

The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining how she and her husband, “Matt,” recently got married. Matt has a stepsister named “Tiffany” who she has only met a few times. However, Tiffany was invited to the wedding.

“Tiffany is very attractive,” the OP began, “She is pretty, with a currently fashionable body type, she also dresses well and spends money on her appearance. This is well known and even though I’ve only met her a few times whenever she is brought up by my in laws she always mentioned as being very invested in her image. I don’t begrudge her this at all.”

Above, a bride upset. Published to Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman has been backed for “upstaging” a bride at her wedding.
Ljupco/iStock / Getty Images Plus

At her wedding, the OP described Tiffany as “stunning” at her wedding as she was wearing a beautiful dress with designer shoes and how her hair and makeup looked like it was done professionally. The OP confirmed that she looked “appropriate” for the wedding but felt “upstaged” due to everyone talking about how beautiful she was, if she was single, and how the bride knew her. She explained that she was “fed up” with the comments, but went on her honeymoon and did her best to “forget the whole thing.”

“We came back [from the honeymoon] about a week ago, and this past weekend had dinner with my in laws,” the OP wrote, “Tiffany was visiting, and we learned that she had got engaged. She showed us her comically large ring and said she was planning to have the wedding next year and that it would be a black tie event. Before I could stop myself, I jokingly said that I was pretty sure I’d already been to her wedding, I was the one in the white dress.

“She asked what I meant, and I thought there was no point in lying so I just admitted I felt she upstaged me at my wedding. She laughed and said you can’t upstage a bride. I asked if I could wear white to her wedding then and she shrugged and said ‘if you think it’ll help’. She then apologised if I felt her outfit was inappropriate. My in laws moved the conversation on and we went on with dinner,” she continued.

When the couple arrived home from dinner, her husband snapped at her, saying that she embarrassed him by being “petty and jealous” of Tiffany. Matt admitted that he doesn’t really like Tiffany, but explained that she can’t do anything about her looks or the clothes she can afford and her comments made her look “bitter and childish.” He wants her to apologize to Tiffany and his parents for her actions.

Newsweek reached out to u/weddingsil for comment.

What not to wear to a wedding

When attending a wedding, guests should be wary about what to wear to the big event in order to not “upstage” the bride. Brides magazine has some tips on certain dress codes at weddings:

  • Don’t wear the same color(s) as the bridal party: The invitation should match the color scheme of the wedding, hinting at what colors you should avoid wearing.
  • Avoid wearing anything “too revealing’: Wearing outfits that are deemed “too revealing” could offend other guests or children.
  • Don’t wear anything too casual: Keep the jeans and flip flop at home.
  • Ask questions if you have any: If you are struggling to find something to wear, get in touch with the bride to see what they suggest you wear.

Newsweek has published several articles regarding conflicts at weddings including a bride who showed off her “dream wedding dress” to mixed reactions online, a man who was ripped online for banning his fiancée’s kids from their wedding, and a mom who was accused of neglect for attending her sister’s wedding, infuriating the internet.

Redditor reactions

“[You’re the a**hole]. you know what make Tiffany so attractive compared to you? Her confidence,” u/xLadyLaura exclaimed, receiving the top comment of 18,000 upvotes, “What a classy, confident woman Tiff must be to react to such a petty, jealous attack with such a smooth shut down and follow it up with an apology despite being wholly unnecessary. If you weren’t busy feeling threatened by her, you could learn a thing of two. Hell, I’d love to learn a thing or two from her.”

U/julet1815 shared, “[You’re the a**hole] ‘if you think it’ll help’ Tiffany is hilarious AND beautiful!”

“[You’re the a**hole]. By your own admission outfit was completely appropriate for the event. She didn’t wear white, announce her engagement or pregnancy during your wedding, strip or bang the best man in the coat closet, she simply attended. Apologize and work on your insecurities,” u/AprilL4163 said.

“[You’re the a**hole] She did nothing wrong at all, you’re just coming across as petty and jealous. You admitted that she wore a dress that was completely appropriate for the wedding, and while it was OK to feel like her presence upstaged you, telling her that was completely unnecessary,” u/ed_lv commented.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.