Sometimes both parties just know that things aren’t working out, and their differences are too great to make being together healthy. There are steps you can take to keep everything peaceful, allowing healing to begin even before things are finalized.
Process Your Emotions
Don’t pretend everything is fine. Putting on a smile and shoving everything down works to get through a single hard moment, but it all has to come back up eventually. While you should strive to be polite when your paths cross with your ex, you’re allowed to feel hurt, anger, sadness or any other emotion that comes up. Just remember that your ex isn’t a person that will be helping you process those feelings.
Ask About Values
When shopping for a lawyer to help navigate the legal side of things, look specifically for someone that has collaborative divorce NJ in their skill set. This is when everyone is already in agreement about what needs to happen or is amicable to compromise. They will understand that you’re working with your ex instead of against them, helping you reach a settlement that is fair to you both.
Ask For Help
Even if you don’t absolutely hate each other, things can still be pretty messy. If family and friends do not support your decision or are causing drama, seek out a third party, such as a therapist, to lend an ear. Even if you have a functional support network, they may not know what you are going through or how to respond in a way that is helpful to you. Talking with a therapist about the grittier details of your divorce instead of friends and family may help quell gossip before it starts, especially if you and your ex share a support network or community.
The process can only be peaceful if that’s what both parties are capable of. If your ex is being problematic, bringing up the issues with your therapist or lawyer can help keep you protected before things get overwhelming.